Sunday, May 31, 2009

Diary of a Chronic Procrastinator

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. ~Mark Twain

14 Easy Steps to Avoid Writing a Paper:

1. Have coffee and cinnamon buns with father. (Ok, ok- 2 cinnamon buns, you food nazis!)

2. Drive around town in a futile attempt to find FAVORITE energy drink...then settle on a BOGO Diet Peach Snapple. (Learn female kangaroos are called flyers)

3. Have a text-a-thon with best friend for at least 1 hour. (Recalling inside jokes from 7th grade is optional)

4. Check mailbox on a Sunday.

5. Get stuck behind someone driving 40 mph in a 55 mph zone(which everyone knows really means 65)but never utter so much as 1 swear word.

6. Tempt fate by taking self-portraits in said 55 mph zone. (never know when a future Facebook/Myspace default image may occur)

7. Make no real attempt to avoid red lights.

8. Play Hide and Seek in friend's Pole Barn.

9. Watch first episode of the new season of VH1's Charm School and for the first time really appreciate the importance of a positive male influence in a young girl's life.

10. Discuss procrastination issue and desire to complete homework in a timely manner with 2 family members, 3 friends, and dog.

11. Upload 4 months worth of digital pictures to Photobucket account.

12. Watch last 1 hour of Austin Powers Goldmember with husband while begging and pleading for a Frosty Float.

13. Devour Frosty Float in less than 4 minutes, causing 1st degree Brain Freeze.

14. Spend 30 minutes creating elaborate blog about wasted day, while blank Word Document causes extreme guilt which leads to a headache (possibly left-over Brain Freeze) and the declaration that the paper isn't really due until Tuesday anyway so it's not like there is any need to hurry.

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