Really Trying This Time...

I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to
purge.
~Paula Poundstone

I've always had a weight problem. Pounds come on and go off. When I was about 19 (and at my heaviest), I went on a strict diet and lost almost 80 pounds. I gained about 20 pounds back and over the past few years I've lost it and re-gained it again. Actually, the day I found out I was pregnant with Caleb I decided to go on a diet. I was on the bad side of that pesky 20 pounds. I found out I was pregnant later that day and of course decided it wasn't the best time to diet. During my pregnancy, I gained about 30 pounds (keep in mind I was only pregnant for about 6.5 months). Since losing him, I have packed on another 10 pounds or so. If you are any good at math you will know that I am creeping very near that "heaviest" weight class again.

The shocking thing to me is that after I lost Caleb my appetite didn't go anywhere. A few years ago, when Brandon and I were going through our issues, I couldn't bring myself to eat. I was so sad and miserable. I lost 20 pounds in about 2 weeks. I thought it would be the same way with Caleb. I was sad and miserable but I was still hungry!

So today I have made a commitment to myself. I KNOW being overweight causes complications during pregnancy not to mention the added challenge it provides when you are trying to get pregnant. I'm also sick of feeling so awful about the way I look. I see pictures of myself from a year and a half ago and it's like looking at a completely different person. So as of today, I am vowing to change the thing that seems to be a roadblock to my happiness in so many ways. My ultimate goal is to lose 72 pounds, but I will take 40. :)

Here goes nothing...